The semester is now approaching to end, without us noticing that time flies by. It was like a blast, fast as a wind and we’re now heading to the finish line. We didn’t have to attend classes for there are no classes anymore (as of now and of the subjects you’re currently enrolled in) but full of requirements like papers and final examinations to do and fulfill. We are in the stage of reminiscing and evaluating the semester, that is why I’m doing this, to know if you learned something on those five months of sitting in the class, enrolled.
We are now on the stage where all your subjects’ deadlines are of the same date and almost all your tests are scheduled at the same time. We are in the stage of academic calamities or what we call hell week. As of now, I’m describing my current situation as of other students studying here in UP.
I just remembered how I get this subject, Psychology 140: Learning and Behaviour. I got this through the lottery because CRS didn’t let me have a subject. I had prerogative it, without knowing the professor or the subject’s description—without knowing this subject at all.
My first impressions in this class were haggard, boring, serious, and hardcore while the professor was so strict. I was afraid like hell at that time to recite my name and be active. On the first day of class, she lectured us already and gave a mock test which was in the form of an essay.
I consider my first class here in this subject as just right but it changed as the days, weeks, and months passed. It was like hell being there for there are so many requirements to fulfill (though I know these will benefit us because these will make us good and skilled) and also, I’m afraid of her and the feeling being called by her randomly. I just don’t know why I considered her as my aversive stimulus. I don’t hate Ma’am but neither like her. When I see our book in this class, I always feel discomfort. When I am reviewing for an examination for this class, the words and letters didn’t register to my brain and I can’t digest them. I know the lessons where interesting but I just can’t encode it properly. I always review for examinations but I always get low scores. I think I have learned helplessness for this class. I didn’t strive hard here, but I tried.
I always attend classes though sometimes I didn’t want to (but attended it anyway). This class is after my Math100 Calculus class that is why I am always late. I remembered I arrived late, just sat in a chair, and surprisingly called by Ma’am. I didn’t know the question and I was not settled down yet for I run to the ground up to the third floor. I was shocked and didn’t know what to do, and ended up speechless. Then, every time Ma’am called me, I can’t think properly. I can’t compose words to speak which is why I can’t answer her and recite. I hate that feeling. I tried once to recite but I failed to explain it properly.
I didn’t hate my professor in this class, as I have said a while ago, but I am afraid of her. I don’t know why I am discomforted by her gaze. But no kidding aside, she is one of the best professors here in UP Diliman for she trained students very well to become professional. She has a passion for teaching and I can prove it to you by saying that she even made up the two classes she missed some time ago though everyone is in their vacation mode or in their examination week. Rain or shine, she didn’t cancel our class, even on Valentine’s. She checked the papers objectively and extracted the substance of them, unlike other professors who are contented that their students passed the paper and fulfill the minimum/maximum pages requirements. She patiently tries to make you understand what she was saying about for she always asked if we understand the lesson so we can go on to the next topic. Her requirements also are reasonable to the fact that these will benefit us and practice our profession. Though there are plenty, we are sure that these are relevant.
If there are things needed to improve Ma’am Ocampo’s lecture, I think these are her speaking and the pace. The way she speaks and delivers words and the pace of the lecture are both fast and sometimes (or always), I can’t cope up. I didn’t clearly understand what she was saying for it was too fast. I was ashamed and afraid to make her repeat those words so I ended up understanding nothing.
To end it up, I think I didn’t shine in this class though I exert effort (or at least tried to) in the requirements. I wish I can turn back to the time to condition myself not to be afraid and enjoy the class. I wish I didn’t feel that aversive feelings to Ma’am, I know it’s not her fault but my being afraid to her. I know that my grade in this subject will be low, (I am sure of it but I don’t want to fail) and I don’t know how to change it nor what to do. I am in the state where I considered myself as learned helpless in this class. I feel so dumb while everyone in this class is intelligent and that is why they get high grades and deserving to be students of Ma’am.
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