A note to self.

Hi Banunay, this is for you!

Start doing your papers~

Don't procrastinate, you are only prolonging your agony~

Why not end this hell and let yourself move on to freedom and happiness.

And yay, start doing now!

♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

You should not believe in lies.

You're always pessimistic, why not look at the bright side? What if you are the only one who thinks there is something wrong or thinks that you are not good enough? What if it's not the people who let you down but you are the one who makes yourself worthless. Don't let people bother you. Don't make your life so miserable. There is more to life than sadness. There is much more depth in life. You have friends. You have knowledge. You have your family. You have God. You have everything. You don't deserve being lied to. You are just fooling yourself, fool!

Even though diamonds don't shine but refract the light instead, why not shine bright and laugh more. You are so precious in your own little way~!

♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

I hate this gloomy weather.

I hate this gloomy weather—this weather that gives cold air and gloomy sky. I don't like how it pours heavy rains. They are unstoppable. There are lightnings everywhere that come after a scary sound. There are noises. There's darkness and coldness.

I hate this gloomy weather—there is no electricity. How can I blog? How can I write? How can I stalk your account? How can I? I miss you so bad. I don't know what to do.

I hate this gloomy weather--it reminds me how cold my feeling is. What is this? I don't know. There are so many thoughts in my mind and these make me feel this feeling even more. Is it sadness? Is it loneliness? Is it hopeless? I really don't know.

I remember that there is once a time when I had loved this gloomy weather. I used to love and embrace its coolness; it gave me the inspiration to be creative. I used to enjoy this weather where I bathed in the rain with my friends. But, it seems like everything changes. People change and so do I.

I hate this weather you for making me hate this weather. I hate how uncomfortable I am to be here, sitting on this chair in front of the computer, writing this gloomy post. I hate this weather because of you. It reminds me of how lonely I am not to have you.

I hate this weather. We used to love this weather; bathed together in the rain. And now, yes, everything changes. And I hate how the changes turned out like this.

I hate this gloomy weather and I hate this gloomy feeling. Actually, I really don't hate them, it's just that I hate myself for hating everything.

I hate this gloomy weather and how this weather makes me realize how immature I am. I should grow up too—grow like how people around me grow without me by their sides. I hate it, I was left behind. I am left behind with this gloomy weather in a gloomy room feeling gloomy about everything.

I hate this gloomy weather.

♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥ 

Take a Glance: There’s a Small Window to the Past

It’s good to reminisce your childhood years—especially the things you really don’t remember because of infantile amnesia. You would ask to yourself, “wow! Am I that amazing? What happened to me?” You would try to remember the transitions and experiences you had that made you change this way. Then, you will realize that life is so amazing (or not ). And because you have so many realizations, you’ll thank your parents for being there through the years.

I enjoyed doing this Ψ171’s journal #2. Thanks to my Mom, the doorway to my past. Now I know that since the beginning of being a human being (especially the 1st month), I am a crybaby. They didn’t know why but there were times that I cried heavily for no apparent reason (sometimes can be stopped by carrying, lifting, or feeding). I was breastfed by my Mom for one week old until I was about 2 ½. If they did not force me to stop breastfeeding, I think I would not stop (they put chili on my mother’s breast). They also added this: at that time, if I were not crying, I was sleeping.

My development, as they say, was so fast. I can prone and can sit at four months. This was also the time when they first hear my laugh. Two teeth (incisors) had already appeared. I learned how to respond and played their close-open and beautiful eyes. At five months, I learned how to crawl.

 I was six months old when I manifested the ability to stand (with support). This was also the time when they first fed me real food (Gerber) and made me drink apple juice, carrot juice, and calamansi juice. They also started feeding me rice and mashed potatoes in a minimal serving. I had already had 4 teeth.

I said my first word “mama” at seven months old. This was also the time that I can stand on my own. Another month, I had the ability to step. A month after that, I had my steps four times. Finally, at 10 months, I knew how to walk.

The one-year-old me was so naughty especially because I had already learned how to run. This was also the time that I can manage to play alone without too much attention from parents. I also loved tearing the pages of any book I touched. If I were not tearing them apart, I wrote or drew on the pages.

 My mother pointed out that I was loved by the people around me. There was no time when no one wanted to take care of me. If my mom was busy, there was my aunt volunteered to play with me. If my aunt got tired, she has been replaced by her daughters, husband, my dad, or even a neighbor. They were willing to watch and babysit me.

She also noted that they didn’t baby talk to me and talked to me like an adult. When I did something great or achieved what they wanted me to do, they gave me praise and acknowledged the newly acquired abilities. Their praises, as what they have said, were somewhat effective because it motivated to do things.

They didn’t clearly remember when the exact time they taught me toilet training was. All they remembered was every morning, they let me sit on the toilet bowl or my personal arinola. Since then, I was properly trained to let go of my “poopoo” in the morning. If there were times that I wanted to poop and not at the scheduled time, I informed them immediately.

I had already written my whole name at the age of three which had been taught by Mama. For another year, I already learned the a-ba-ka-da and how to count from 1 to 20. She also taught me how to write that in words. At 4 ½ years old, I started attending school, a kinder preschooler. After completing the class, I received my first achievement, I was Best in Math. (What the hell happened to my math skill?)

My mother said that I had started following a routine schedule when the time I started going to school. I woke up at 5am to prepare for my 7am class that lasted up to 3-4 hours. After that, Mama would fetch me and go straight home (or not). I had already eaten lunch at 12:30pm and forced to take a nap. After waking up, I would play first with my friends (or even to myself) to 2 hours then after getting tired, I faced books, drawing pad, and study—study time! I had also a regular dinner time and sleeping time which was part of the daily schedule.

But, they had noticed something to me—if I didn’t like something, I won’t do it. If I want it, I would do anything even throwing tantrums just to get it. There was an instance where we were in a mall and I saw a toy and demanded to buy that for me. The toy was expensive and they didn’t want to buy that but they were forced to buy it because I was on the floor, shouting, crying so loud. There was also a time when I didn't want to go to school, they couldn't do anything to make me attend school. I remembered also this moment when we were supposed to take a test but I didn’t want to take it and so I sat on the floor and hid under the table, I didn’t know why (or just didn’t remember it because I was only 5 years old at that time) I did that but it took them hours to get me off under the table.

Luckily, I hadn’t had serious illnesses when I was young. The only diseases they remembered to infect me were chickenpox, measles, and fever. I was healthy and loved outdoor activities. I liked playing with other kids like playing lutu-lutuan, bahay-bahayan, or Philippine games like piko, Chinese garter, patintero, et cetera. My friends were the ones to visit and invite me to play in our home. But it doesn’t matter whether they appear or couldn’t come to our place, I would just play on my own.

Because of this paper, I appreciate more the roles of parents especially the mother. Taking a glance at the past, I realized how hard for them to raise me well until this age. It made me think about how many sacrifices they did just to compensate and give my needs. I salute them for raising me well since conception until now and beyond. This paper makes me love my parents especially my Mama even more. I hope that when I become a mother too, I will apply what I have learned and will be learned in this course and appreciate more every second I spend together with the baby (and with my family). ☺

♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

Ngayon

Hunyo na, 4th year na ako. Ang bilis, ni hindi ko namalayan. Ito ang panahon kung saan dapat na akong magpasya kung ano ba talaga ang buhay na gusto kong sapitin. Ito ang panahon kung saan lahat ng desisyon ko ang siyang magdidikta ng aking kapalaran, ng aking kasasapitan--at kung ako ay sasaya. Natatakot ako; kaya ko ba? Kinakabahan ako; ako'y handa na ba? Ako ba ay nakapagpasya na? Sapat na ba ang aking mga kakayahan para sumabak na sa hamon ng tunay na buhay? Naguguluhan pa rin ako. Kulang pa rin ang aking abilidad upang makipagsapalaran at makipagkompitensya sa iba. Alam kong marami pang mas magaling sa akin kaya naman paano ko ibibida ang aking sarili? Hindi pa ako nakaalis sa aking hawla kaya naman ang pagtapak sa labas nito ay isa nang malaking hamon ng pagbabago. Ito ang kinatatakutan ko. Paano kung ako'y madapa? Paano kung ako nga'y lumipad ngunit bigla ring bumagsak pababa ng pababa. Paano kung kay tayog ng aking nililipad ngunit hindi naman pala ito ang landas na dapat kong tinatahak? Ano nga ba talaga ang gusto ko? Ano nga ba ang gusto kong mangyari liban na sa pagiging masaya? Ano nga ba ang ginagawa ko para matupad ang mga gusto kong gawin? Ano nga bang makapagpapasaya sa akin? Ayokong magsisi bandang huli. Ayokong magsisis na hindi ko nagawa ang mga nais kong gawin. Ayokong may pagsisihan. Ayokong maiwan sa mabilis na andar ng buhay. Kailangan kong magtiwala sa sarili ko. Kailangan na akong magpasya. Kailangan, ngayon na.

 ♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

Balang araw, konti na lang.

Hindi man lang ako nakapagpasalamat ng maayos sa blog na ito. Bakit? Una, dahil hindi ako bumagsak. Ikalawa, dahil hindi ako nawalan ng pag-asa. Ikatlo, isa ito sa dahilan kung bakit pinagpatuloy ko pa rin ang laban kahit na dehado ako. Wala lang. Iba talaga ang Panginoon. Walang imposible. Tulad ng nangyari noong nakaraang semestre. Naalala niyo pa yung dinadrama kong asignatura (tingnan ang huli kong elektronikong sulat bago nito) ayun, nagkaroon ng himala, pasado, at hindi ako makapaniwala sa gradong nakuha ko. HAHAHA. At wala man ako sa wisyong magsulat ngayon, ni hindi gumagana ang mabulaklak kong dila para makagawa ng katha, sanay sapat na ito upang masulyapan ang kasiyahang taglay ko nang nakita ko ang numerong humusga sa apat na buwang pagpasok ko sa unibersidad. Nagkaroon ng bunga ang paglunok ko sa aking pride na kay tagal ko na ring inalagaan. Nabaliwala ang lahat ng takot ko at ang kanyang pamamahiya. Nakaya ko, simpleng pagbubuod ngunit hindi nakukuob ang tindi ng pinagdaanan at kinasapitan ko nang panahong iyon.

Iyon na nga, ang maikling sanaysay na ito, ay tanda na walang imposible gaano man kahirap ang pagsubok na nakaharang sa iyong daanan. Huwag munang sumuko, sapagkat hindi mo alam kung gaano kalayo ka dadalhin ng katatagan ng loob na iyan. Akala mo man o sa tingin mo ma'y walang mangyayari sa ginagawa mo, ituloy at subukan mo pa rin. Malay mo, magkaroon ng himala--tulad ngayon.

Kaya naman Banunay, tandaan mo, hindi ka mag-isa sa labang ito. Nariyan ang Diyos upang tulungan ka at gumawa ng kababalaghan. Magtiwala ka lamang sa kanya.

Tulad din nila, sa susunod na taon, isa na ako sa mga estudyanteng magpapaskil ng mga larawang magiging tanda ng tagumpay. Isang litratong may bakas ng apat na taon at higit pang pagsusumikap at pagtitiyaga. sa susunod na taon, sasablay din ako at hindi ito ang gradong lagapak kundi sablay na sinusuot. Isang simbolo ng pagtatapos sa mahal kong unibersidad. Isang tradisyong tatak UP.

Balang araw, konti na lang.

~ ♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

Failure me.

Ang mahirap sa akin, i easily get discouraged when they say i can't do it or there's nothing i can do to change their minds. And yes, wala man lang akong ginawa para ipaglaban ang dapat pinaglalaban ko :( Ni hindi nga ako kumikilos ngayon eh. I;m wasting my time contemplating things and deciding whether i should push to the limits or end up a loser and a failure. I tried, yes, but, i didn't really exert all my efforts, That's not enough. I have other priorities, and, i don't want to be judged by others or see her again. I don;t want to get shouted at. I should be courageous like what I was before. I'm a loser. Yes I am.


♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

The end is near.

Why does everything must come to an end? I hate endings. I hate goodbyes. I hate farewells. I hate you. I hate everything for making me feel that I belong here and I am loved. I hate this feeling because I know for sure that this bond will soon be gone. I hate this. And how stupid I am to think before that it's all right if we separate ways because I can move on with my life easily. :(  But, as time goes by, and the end is nearing, I worry that I can't let them go. We're the perfect combination and I have just realized it now. Yes, I know, I regret that I didn't give importance to them before. I regret it. If I can just turn back time, I will cherish more the moments we had. How I wish I could turn back time. How I wish we would be extended. Oh, how I wish, oh how I wish. I miss them already. :(

♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

Naiinis ako.

Naiinis ako.

Naiinis ako dahil bakit ikaw pa?

Naiinis ako dahil bakit hindi ko pinigilan ang aking sarili?

Naiinis ako dahil alam kong wala naman talaga ngunit patulot pa rin akong kumapit sa maliit na pag-asa.

Naiinis ako dahil ang tanga ko, ni hindi ka nga nagbigay ng motibo at nilinaw mo na hanggang doon lang tayo, ngunit patuloy pa rin akong nagbakasakali.

Naiinis ako dahil bakit ang lakas ko magpantasya, lalo na sa'yo.

Naiinis ako dahil nanghihinayang ako sa pagkakaibigan natin.

Naiinis ako dahil kasalanan ko ang lahat ng 'to.

Naiinis ako dahil kung hindi ako nahulog sa'yo, walang ilangang magaganap sa akin—sa
 atin.

Naiinis ako dahil lumalayo ako, habang nasasaktan.

Naiinis ako dahil alam kong hahantong ito sa ganito ngunit pinili kong kiligin at magwalang bahala.

Naiinis ako dahil bakit ako nagmumukmok, ako naman may kasalanan.

Naiinis ako dahil kahit na iniiwasan ko siya, hindi ko pa rin mapigilang tingnan ang kanyang mga mata..

Naiinis ako dahil sa tingin ko ay nahahalata na niya ang lihim kong pagsinta.

Naiinis ako dahil bakit ko kasi siya hinayaang makahalata.

Naiinis ako dahil hindi ko dapat siya binibigyan ng ispesyal na atensyon.

Naiinis ako dahil bakit kasi nakatali na siya sa iba at llalong nakaiinis dahil alam kong hindi ko mapapantayan ang babaeng gusto niya.

Naiinis ako dahil bakit ba ako nag-e-emote eh wala naman talagang nagyaring ispesyal.

Naiinis ako dahil siya pa ang aking ginusto.

Naiinis ako dahil baka mawalan na ako ng sabihan ng mga problema't saloobin sa buhay.

Naiinis ako dahil nanghihinayang ako, ansarap niya kasing sabihan ng kung anu-ano.

Naiinis ako dahil bakit ko nga ba kasi dinidibdib.

Naiinis ako dahil dapat ay mag-move-on na ako dahil wala na talagang pag-asa.

Naiinis ako dahil bakit ang panget ko, bobo, mataba, maitim, at lahat na ng kapintasang meron sa mundo.

Naiinis ako kasi hindi pa nag-uumpisa ang laban, talo na ko.

Naiinis ako sa sarili ko.

Naiinis ako dahil bakit ako naiinis.

Naiinis ako.

Nakainiis.i


♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

Ang Bagong Binhi ng Pag-ibig

Nakita ko siya kanina at kunyare hindi ko siya napansin. Tuloy-tuloy ako sa paglakad, na parang walang nakita.

*tingin sa kanan*

Naroon siya, sa tabi ko, tumatawa pa. Nakita niyaaa kooo, at kanyang sinundan. Sabay kaming naglakad. Namiss ko siya, gusto kong iutal, hindi na kasi kami nagkikita sa personal eh, pero syempre, di ko ginawa. Andami kong gustong sabihin, at itanong. Ang dami kong gustong malaman. Pero we end up talking about random things, as usual. And yes, we talked while walking, and laughed hard. I want to have this little conversation everyday, if it is not too much to ask. HUHUHU. I can die happily, joke. Kinikilig ako, lalo na 'yung sinundan niya pa talaga ako kahit nakunyare kebs ako't blurred ang lahat. ♥ ♥ ♥

pero noooo. kailangan ko nang itigil ang kahibangan ko. I should not entertain this feeling anymore, baka lumala. Ayoko na ulit masaktan, tulad ng dati, na sa bandang huli, naiwan akong luhaan.

Bunutin na ang damo bago pa lumago. I should stop this insanity of mine. Buttttt, next time na, kinikiligggg ako eh. errrrrr >.<


♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

How are you feeling, little wanderer?

I feel like crap. I am a wanderer.

I'm here again writing random stuff, just to kill time, to procrastinate. I'm here again, and I know, I should not be here. I should start reading and reviewing for the exams. We are in the mid-sem already, and I haven't accomplished anything. How am I supposed to move on if I lost any confidence in me and have lost motivation at all? I'm screwed. I knew it. One or two years from now, I'll face the inevitable change, I'll graduate, and face the new phase of life. I will no longer be a student. But, am I ready? I don't know.  don't want to know. I don't want to move on. I'm afraid. What would I do after graduation? Will I have a job that fits my personality? Will they accept me? Where am I going? I really don't know. All I know is that I should start fixing myself and give solutions to every problem and difficulty of my life. It sucks. I no longer a child. I can no longer cry and run from reality. I should move on. I should take one step away from this miserable me.

And that one step will start when I do my assignments and start reviewing for the exams.

I'm not wanderer, I'm just waiting for my feet to move forward and start the journey again.

  ♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

Hola! Again, Meteor Garden!

I was so sad and depressed last Friday. My pride turned into pieces as he recited to the class asking some random question. I don't know but i was offended by the way he delivered the question. I know, that time, he was pointing me. I know I am that stupid subject he was talking about.

I was so sad and depressed. I lost control on holding my tears, it suddenly fell down to my cheeks. There was Marla on my side. I told her what I felt. I told her what I thought. I told her my conclusion about what happened on that class. She didn't believe. She tried to regain my lost confidence but what she was trying made the situation worst. I looked down to myself the way he looked down me. I let him think what he wants to think. He degraded me, and judged me. I knew it. I knew it even though he didn't really say it. He was implying that I don't belong to this group, I am not good enough to enter this fucking institution! I know it for myself. I know I can't be like them. I felt bad to myself. I felt bad for Marla because she saw the weak me. Yes, she was shocked because I cried. She was shocked because she thought that I was that kind of girl, full of strengths and smiles.I was shocked, too, I let her saw it. That time, I asked myself, why am I not good enough? Why can't I compete? Why do i have this alter ego? Why am I so weak? I hate myself. I hate this life. I want to end this. What should I do?


I was so sad. I was so depressed. I wanted to forget things. I wanted to run away. And hoooola, this is the result. I am now hooked again by this first Taiwanese series i had watched~ I miss those days, the days when I had to run and went home early just to watch the episode aired on those days. I recall those days when I was so hooked on Asz and Shan Cai. I remember the scenes and how they made me cry so hard. I missssss my childhoood. I missssssss watching this soap opera without minding any school requirements that must be accomplish. I miss those banjing-banjing days.

Yes I did. I did run to that problem. I re-watched Meteor Garden instead of doing this psychological assessment. It made me happy and absorbed the characters and story. But, i run away again leaving those stupid school works unattended. Now, I am cramming those papers. Cramming. I should have learn. :|

And here they are, the print screen pictures of my savior-but-another-problem-in-disguise. Tada!

Sz: There is no reason why you give a present to a girl that you like.

That smile. I fall.

Paano kiligin si Dao Ming Sz?

Paano kiligin si Dao Ming Sz? Part 2

The first time I "fall in love" with Lei.

Lei <3

The triangle.

I love this scene! Promise! XD

I like this love team too.

What Dao Ming Sz told Lei when Lei came back.

In Okinawa, Japan.

Asz: How can you have sex with someone you don't like?
DAO MINGGG SZ, THUMBS UP!

Before Dao Ming Sz found out the affair between lei and Shan Cai.

Asz: I won't hurt you anymore so stop crying.

When Shan Cai asked Dao Ming Sz what would he do if  he was on Lei's shoes.

Asz: If you say you didn't do it, i believe.

When can I find the knight in shining armor of my life?

Asz: I like you. I really like you.

Dao Ming Sz aiding Shan Cai

Dao Ming Sz, so sweeeet.

Jing: You should always be pretty, because you'll never know when you'll run  into Prince Charming.

I have just finished watching it. Too bad, i wanted to print screen all of my favorite scenes but was afraid to do so because when  you paused too much, the dvd will be damaged. Hihi. I want to re-watch it again~


I fall in love to Dao Ming Sz and Hua Tze Lei agaaaaain >.< HUHUHU. Those daysssss, thoooose dayyyyssss. >.< I should be motivated! I should be Shan cai who is so strong and will fight till the end! But I should also not be her who is always running away to the problem.

I should be working now. You, stop dreaming! School days are coming!

♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

McArthur.

To all the people who give everyday dosage of insult. Thank you for these insecurities. You're all winner. I'm fucking weak and loser.

And yeah, wait for me. I'll come back to you one day, chin up, eyes straight ahead. You'll no longer champion. I will. I'll change.

♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

Waiting

People want love because of its positive side. Like how it can make you feel that your tummy has butterflies circling inside singing happily in harmony. People see love as what we see in movies such that pleasures, sex, hug, and kiss. People seek for love to avoid loneliness and the feeling of being unloved. People only want a partner in life, than love itself.

Sometimes, it's sad because we don't see love as love. They take it for granted. They don't take it seriously. They see it as a game. But love is not absolutely like that. You must cherish love for you to grow up. Yes, it is not the love that only gives pleasurable things but sometimes heartaches and pains, but that's what makes love so thrilling and amazing. You'll cry and then you'll smile. You'll laugh and then you'll be depressed-mixed emotions were packed in love, you can't choose what you want to feel. Some won't be serous to avoid heartaches, that's not love after all. Because in love, you'll share your deepest emotions (that good and bad) to each other, while loving and improving.

That's what I wrote when Amelle asked me to help her comment on her professor's blog. The article I commented on is about loving someone. I enjoyed helping her in her assignment but has been pressured due to the deadline of the said requirement. If it does not conflict with time, I want to comment and tell more. But, yeah, I should not be stocked up to one article for so long because there were still more articles waiting for me to be commented on (and it was actually New Year's Eve. Yeah, I almost welcomed this 2013 touched by commenting on that blog).

Love is really powerful. It can immediately change a person's mood--can make someone smile, laugh, angry, sad, cry, and jealous. It can make the world go round. It can save anyone's worst day. It can cure any wounds and pain. Yet, people sometimes, take for granted that so-called love. Some won't acknowledge love. Some hide it until the very end. Some pursues it. Some will kill because of it. That's love, we can't truly define it, but we can feel it. It varies from person to person. But, when it strikes you, you'd better prepare for it.

Yeah, most articles I commented on was actually about love. Due to it, I miss the feeling of being in love. I would lie if I say I experienced being loved by the one I love. I am a loser when it comes to love. I fall for someone I would never have a chance with. I am sensitive and easily get hurt and I don't have any courage to make a move or inform my love to him. I just cherished the love I feel for him where I was the only one knew it was existing. Yes, I experienced that so-called unrequited love, which is always killing you behind.

I am no longer in love with the one who broke my heart--the guy who I had ranting here. He no longer exist to me, or should we say, he exists to me but without that heavenly yet painful feeling.  And to think that, I always ask myself why did I like that guy. He is not that good compared to what he thinks. I just laughed whenever I remember all those stupid acts I have done because of him.

And yeah, I miss being in love. I miss the positive feeling of being in love. I miss feeling that so-called "kilig" and "makalaglag panting tagpo". Watching movies and animes are the two only reasons why I feel the romantic chill I am longing for. I just want to experience it for myself. I just want to experience love again. I want to love and be loved. I want to fall for someone who'll for me even more. Am I not mature enough to handle it? Should I wait more? Should I wait for him? For how long?

But, if it's not the right time, it's not. Just saying that I would still hold on to that fairy tale ending. Yeah, I'm still waiting for that happy ending. Still believing. Still.


 ♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

200 Day Challenge

200 Day Challenge

I want to do this 200 day challenge to boost my confidence. I want to tell to myself that I am beautiful and I have a lot of experience to be proud of. I want to cherish this life and want to end this sadness and insecurities. I want to start writing again and update a blog regular. I want to document this life that will prove that I live here and my existence is not a mere imagination. I want to become confident and love myself more. I must not let any bad vibes and even the let others spoil my happiness. I don't want to be bullied by them and let them think they are superior to me. I must not let them affect my concentrations and disposition in life. I want to be better and through doing this 200 day challenge, I want to gain motivation to go on and move on in everyday life.

Pictures will be posted on my tumblr, either on my first account, Vanenok: Ang Taong Burton, or on Laughing While Loving You Life. Yay! Hope I will finish this. :)))

This is the syllabus (lol) of the 200 Day Challenge

Day 1- A picture of you with 20 things most people don’t know about you.
Day 2- A picture of your favorite toy as a child.
Day 3- A picture of Your most prized possession.
Day 4- A picture of You standing on the kitchen table.
Day 5- A picture of You and a friend.
Day 6- A picture of your refrigerator.
Day 7- A picture of You sleeping
Day 8- A picture of You when you were little.
Day 9- A picture of You climbing a tree.
Day 10- A picture of You brushing your teeth.
Day 11- A picture of You reading your favorite book.
Day 12- A picture of You at school/work.
Day 13- A picture of Your favorite shoes.
Day 14- A picture of You and a pet.
Day 15- A picture of You blowing a bubble gum bubble
Day 16- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 17- A drawing [by you!]
Day 18- A picture of You wearing a hat.
Day 19- A picture of You playing a videogame.
Day 20- A picture of You at the beach.
Day 21- A picture of You dressed as a nerd.
Day 22- A picture of You eating a taco.
Day 23- A picture of You at the supermarket.
Day 24- A picture of You wearing sunglasses.
Day 25- A picture of You doing your laundry.
Day 26- A picture of You and a vending machine.
Day 27- A picture of You and your family
Day 28- A picture of You wearing an apron.
Day 29- A picture of You wearing a scarf.
Day 30- A picture of You in a car.
Day 31- A picture of You and your favorite cereal’s box.
Day 32- A picture of You sitting in the sink.
Day 33- A picture of You reading the newspaper.
Day 34- A picture of You listening to your favorite song on your iPod/MP3 Player.
Day 35- A picture of You playing an instrument (or faking it)
Day 36- A picture of You in your pajamas.
Day 37- A picture of a TV in your house.
Day 38- A picture of You with your mom/dad.
Day 39- A picture of You IN a cardboard box.
Day 40- A picture of You lying in the grass.
Day 41- A picture of You with a cape. (can use a blanket).
Day 42- A picture of You on the stairs.
Day 43- A picture of You eating ice cream.
Day 44- A picture of You dancing.
Day 45- A picture of You playing a sport.
Day 46- A picture of You and something green.
Day 47- A picture of You cooking.
Day 48- A picture of You taking a picture in the mirror.
Day 49- A picture of You in your favorite outfit.
Day 50- A picture of Your favorite cartoon character.
Day 51- A picture edited by you.
Day 52- A picture edited by someone else of you.
Day 53- A picture of You drinking your favorite drink
Day 54- A picture of You playing a boardgame.
Day 55- A picture of You making a sad face.
Day 56- A picture of You with an accomplishment.
Day 57- A picture of you and your favorite color.
Day 58- A professional picture of you.
Day 59- A picture of You brushing your hair.
Day 60- A picture of your favorite type of pen/pencil
Day 61- A picture of you when you just wake up.
Day 62- A picture of your favorite animal
Day 63- A picture of someone that has to do with your religion
Day 64- A picture of you doing something stupid.
Day 65- A picture of your least favorite Actor/Actress.
Day 66- A picture of you doing the dishes.
Day 67- A picture of You dressed as a doctor.
Day 68- A picture of you throwing something.
Day 69- A picture of you on facebook!
Day 70- A picture of you sitting on a chair.
Day 71- A picture of you imitating a celebrity.
Day 72- A picture of the room in your house you spend the least amount of time in.
Day 73- A picture is your least favorite shirt.
Day 74- A picture of you jumping in the air.
Day 75- A picture of you and a CD!
Day 76- A picture of you laying on a couch.
Day 77- A picture of you that someone else has taken.
Day 78- A picture of you doing something creative.
Day 79- A picture of your high school’s mascot.
Day 80- A random picture of you.
Day 81- A picture of your dream
Day 82- A picture of you picking up something heavy.
Day 83- A picture of your favorite album cover
Day 84- A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 85- A picture of you and a friend of the opposite sex.
Day 86- A picture of something you would kill for.
Day 87- A picture of your favorite number
Day 88- A picture of your favorite Actor/Actress.
Day 89- A random picture of anything
Day 90- A picture of Someone who could be your twin (if you are a twin, use your twin!)
Day 91- A picture of Something you won’t do alone
Day 92- A picture of your room.
Day 93- A picture of a friend you haven’t seen in a long time.
Day 94- A picture of your dream college, or college you attend.
Day 95- A picture that tells a story.
Day 96- A picture of something/someone who died that you really miss.
Day 97- A picture of you and your funniest friend.
Day 98- A picture of something you love doing
Day 99- A picture of someone/something you respect.
Day 100- A picture of your favorite basketball team
Day 101- A picture of you using the vacuum.
Day 102- A picture of a place that you have been to.
Day 103- A picture of you and a letter (of the alphabet).
Day 104- A picture of you and a letter (mail)
Day 105- A picture of your favorite male singer.
Day 106- A picture of Your favorite female singer.
Day 107- A picture of you making the ‘peace’ sign.
Day 108- A picture of you with money you’ve earned.
Day 109- A picture of your favorite clothing store.
Day 110- A picture of your computer.
Day 111- A picture of you singing.
Day 112- A picture of you poking someone!
Day 113- A picture of you and a candle.
Day 114- A picture of you wrapped in a blanket.
Day 115- A picture of you setting the table.
Day 116- A picture of your favorite movie.
Day 117- A picture of you on the phone.
Day 118- A picture of your energy drink.
Day 119- A picture of you looking out a window.
Day 120- A picture of you and the ugliest curtains you have in your house.
Day 121- A picture of your favorite towel.
Day 122- A picture of your favorie season!
Day 123- A picture of you wearing 6 layers of clothing.
Day 124- A picture of the state or country you live in.
Day 125- A picture of you prentending to be a snake.
Day 126- A picture of your elbow.
Day 127- A picture of the cast of your favorite TV show.
Day 128- A picture of you and a map!
Day 129- A picture of you doing ‘thumbs up’.
Day 130- A picture of you when you just get out of the shower. (not naked!!!)
Day 131- A picture of you in the woods.
Day 132- A picture of your hands.
Day 133- A picture of you and a clock.
Day 134- A picture of you opening a door.
Day 135- A picture of your favorite exotic animal.
Day 136- A picture of You and a phonebook.
Day 137- A picture of You and your mailbox.
Day 138- A picture of Your country’s flag.
Day 139- A picture of you with tape over your mouth.
Day 140- A picture of You and a fork!
Day 141- A picture of You with huge headphones!
Day 142- A picture of nature.
Day 143- A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 144- A picture of you making a ‘kissy face’
Day 145- A picture of Your favorite socks.
Day 146- A picture of You being relaxed.
Day 147- A picture of you flexing.
Day 148- A picture of you meditating.
Day 149- A picture of your pillow.
Day 150- A picture of your favorite fruit.
Day 151- A picture of you and a new friend.
Day 152- Your favorite picture of google’s logo.
Day 153- A picture of you and a bottle of ketchup.
Day 154- A picture of you and something old.
Day 155- A picture of that makes you laugh.
Day 156- A picture of you playing air guitar.
Day 157- A picture of your favorite memory.
Day 158- The fifth picture that you find on google by typing your first and last name.
Day 159- A picture of you and a tire.
Day 160- A picture of your lightbulb.
Day 161- A picture of you with something orange.
Day 162- A picture of you and a bag full of groceries.
Day 163- A picture of your ear.
Day 164- A picture of you laughing.
Day 165- A picture of you making an evil face.
Day 166- A picture of your favorite perfume/cologne.
Day 167- A picture of you dressed as a doctor.
Day 168- A picture of you pretending you were dead.
Day 169- A picture of you on facebook!
Day 170- A picture in a bathroom!
Day 171- A picture of something you’re addicted too
Day 172- A picture of your favorite athlete.
Day 173- A picture of your favorite car
Day 174- A picture of the president of your nation.
Day 175- A picture of you with shampoo in your hair. (again.. not naked!)
Day 176- Your favorite picture of Michael Jackson.
Day 177- A picture of your favorite football team.
Day 178- A picture of something that annoys you
Day 179- A picture of your favorite mythical creature
Day 180- A picture of someone you almost never get in fights with.
Day 181- A picture of you and a canned food item.
Day 182- A picture of something you couldn’t live without
Day 183- A picture of something that reminds you of coldness.
Day 184- A picture of something that reminds you of warmth.
Day 185- A picture of your favorite time of year.
Day 186- A picture of the one person you will never forget no matter what.
Day 187- A picture of you with your hands crossed.
Day 188- A picture of you in your driveway.
Day 189- A picture of a movie you dislike.
Day 190- A picture of you doing/attempting a split.
Day 191- A picture of a quote you really like.
Day 192- A picture of something you hate doing.
Day 193- A picture of a place you’d like to live.
Day 194- A picture that makes you sad.
Day 195- A picture of someone you wish you could swap lives with for the day.
Day 196- A picture of your day.
Day 197- A picture of the ugliest lamp in your house.
Day 198- A picture of something you are afraid of.
Day 199- A picture of you & someone you don’t know.
Day 200- A picture of you showing how happy you are to have completed the 200 Day Challenge.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yay! Because this is the first day, I will post the first requirement here!

Day 1- A picture of you with 20 things most people don’t know about you.

~ I love anime :))

~ I am shy (most people didn't know it)

~ I am pessimist. (Most people think I am a positive person because I always smile and laugh to them as if there is no tomorrow)

~ I always think that I do not deserve a thing and sometimes push it away from

me. I think I am worthless and can't be compared to anyone.

~ I am longing for someone who can understand me even though I didn't say or explain anything.

~ I used to be a happy person.

~ I have lesbian tendencies (and even thought I am bisexual) but according to people I have asked, I just admiring them.

~ Way back in high school, I was afraid of talking to gays and lesbo~

~ I was a man hater (but not anymore). Due to past experiences, I am not comfortable to have a one-on-one conversation with the opposite sex.

~ I am bipolar and I am always on the extremes. When I am happy, I feel very very very happy but when I am sad, I feel very very very sad to the point of being depressed, lose all confidence, etc.

~ I have commitment issues. Sometimes, I am the one to cut all the ties to a specific person without any reason but at the end of the day, I am the one to miss him and regret what I have done. Then, one day, I will go back to him and tell him that I miss him.

~ I daydream a lot. Some are possible but some are beyond human imagination.

~ I have recently tried to watch Yaoi and now I am hooked by it hihihi

~ Sometimes, I don't want to be myself and pray to God that He reborn me or swap me to be someone else.

~ I am a talkative person but choosy on what will say to that person. Sometimes, what I say is not what i really mean. I always give hints and for you to understand me is to decode those puzzle or read between the lines.

~ I give meaning to everything--think that every dot, every move, every blink has its purpose. My interpretations are different from normal people and because of that, I sometimes called to be a weirdo.

~ I am a great pretender but/and transparent. I really don't know tooo >.<

~ I am a joker but sensitive. I easily get hurt when the joke is below the belt (but i can tolerate a joke when it meant different to me)

~ I had a 'Peter Pan Syndrome' I am afraid to get old. There are times that I pray to God that He'll make me young, become a child again, become a little me. I won't correct things or change the future. I just want to experience all the happy moments of myself and cherish more the youthfulness. I also prayed that when He grant this wish to me, I will promise that I won't tell it to anyone.

~ I used to search/follow the end of a rainbow. They say that you can find happiness, golds, playgrounds or a place-like-heaven when you get there.

And because I am a psych major, here is the personality test analysis hihihi: VFB Personality.


♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥

Browse and Reminisce.

I just happened to pass by on a random blog. And this is what i read there...

after graduating from this school
many years from now
will you still be sending me a birthday greeting, holloween, or anything?

if i happen to pass by at your house
would you care to call me for who I was?
will you still know me?
will you still want me,
twenty years from now?

you'll meet different kinds of people too
but if they don't like you,
come to me, i could stay with you!

i could be a talking time line,
recalling all the things we used to do back then
you can be a talking time line too!
on the next day, can i still stay with you?

invading a mall, laughing at anybody,
who could ask for more?
will you still know me?
will you still want me,
twenty years from now?

send me a card, call me sometime
who are you now, where you might be
it's been a long time since we chat
why did you stop talking to me like that?
do you still know me?
do you still want me,AFTER TWENTY YEARS?

Kakauwi ko lamang galing kanila grv. Masaya--kantahan, kainan, tawanan. Parang katulad lamang noong dati, noong high school. Kaarawan niya ngayon, este kahapon, na nauna ko nang nailahathala rito rin sa blog na ito. Wala akong ginawang kung ano mang espesyal, hindi katulad nang dati. Niresiklo ko lamang ang ginawa kong profile picture noon at binati siya. Naumpisahan ko rin naman kahit papaano ang asignatura kong naipangako kong tatapusin ngayon (ngunit hindi pa rin tapos hanggang ngayon). Akala ko'y lilipas ang araw na ito nang hindi kami nagkikita, nila grv, pero hindi pala.

Nagyaya siya, inimbita kami, sa bahay nila. Hindi naman ako nag-atubili dahil gusto ko rin namang umalis at makita sila. Malapit na rin kasing magpasukan at alam kong hindi ko na naman sila makapipiling oras na mag-umpisa na iyon. Tinext ko na rin ang isa pa naming kaibigan dahil nahihiya akong pumunta roon mag-isa. At isa pa, nag-e-emote nga ako kagabi di'ba, so hindi ko alam kung paano ako haharap sa kanya.

Napunta na kami roon at naabutan ang kaibigan niya sa kolehiyo. Okay lang naman, hindi gaanong nagkahiyaan, dahil na rin siguro sa  nakita ko na (at ang iba nga'y kakilala ko na) sila. Nauna rin silang umuwi  kaya naman natira kaming tatlo sa kanila, ayun nagkantahan.

Masaya, kasi hindi namin nagawa ito noong Bagong Taon. Paano ba naman, nakapunta na kami sa bahay nila nang alas tres at natulog na lang kami (na ang plano sana'y magbi-videoke at manonood ng movies). Pero ewan, masaya pa rin naman kahit papaano. Itaga mo pa sa bato.

Walang awkwardness na nangyari. Wala. Nagkantahan. Kumain. Tumawa. Umuwi kami nang ala-una ng madaling araw sapagkat may pasok pa nang maaga ang dalawa. Umuwi kami, kahit ayaw pa namin talaga.

At doon nga nag-umpisa ang paghahalungkat ko at pagpunta sa mga random site. Ugali ko na kasing magtype ng pangalan ng mga kakilala ko sa google at tingnan kung kilala sila ng cyberspace na ito. Hola, bumulaga nga sa akin ang random site na ito (pati na rin ang site na pinagkuhaan ko ng nauna nang tula), at ito rin ang sabi:

♪♪Will you ever be my star??♪♪

So many times you've hurt me..

So many times you've fooled me..

But you'll be doing it again..

Like a shooting star to where you are

Are we too late am I too soon

You'll make it through you've gone too far

Will you ever be my star??

You're a shooting star to where you are

Are we too late am I too soon

You'll make it through you've gone too far

Will you ever be my star???

Gustong-gusto ko talaga yang part ng kanta na yan. It reminds me of something... or should I say, it reminds me of Someone!!

So, ayun na nga, naaalala ko yung so-called bespren ko sa mga linyang yan lalo na yung "will you ever be my star?"

Para kasing pinapahiwatig niya na, "kelan o, magiging bestfriend pa ba kita?" :(

Ayun ang topic ko ngayon sa entry na 'to..

Literal at totoo ang sasabihin ko kasi, formal blog naman to at konti lang ang magtatangkang magbasa nito..hehehe

Isang issue this week,

Naglalaro sila Venus, Noel at Vanessa ng something dun sa likod, eh recess naman na kaya ayos lang. Galing ako sa canteen at ang nakita ko na lang eh, naglalaro na nga sila at, there's something smells fishy!

Natalo si Vanessa at may consequence na ipapataw para dun! Pagpasok ko sa pinto, yung itsura ni Vanessa eh parang may nais ipahiwatig na kagimbal-gimbal! (naka-nakkzz! kagimbal-gimbal daw oh!) At si Venus din, sinasabi niyan, "dali na!!" at si noel naman, "oo nga! anjan na siya oi!".. Hindi ko lang pinansin pero may hinala na 'ko tungkol dun! hhmm!

Papaupo na ko sa may upuan ko nang biglang sumigaw si Noel ng, "Geneva tumakbo ka na!!" at nag-panic naman ako! hahaha.. Sabi ko na nga ba eh! May nangyayaring kabaalaghan dun eh! Tumakbo na 'ko.. at guess what, hinahabol ako ni Vanessa!! Nakakatakot siya! ambilis tumakbo! Umabot ako sa kakatakbo hanggang sa labas ng gate ng skul, at siya, hindi na nakalabas dahil nag-bell na nga.. (mwohohoho!! Buti na lang!!)

So, ayun na, wala na siya. Kaya, umakyat na rin ako.. Dahil nga WALA na siya at BUMALIK na sa room....AKALA KOOOOO!! takteng yan!! inaabangan pala ko dun sa may pintuan ng other section! ayun! takbo na naman!! yahoooo!! Pero nauna na siya, at hingal na hingal na ko.. Dumiretso na nga siya sa room namin. At nung pagpasok namin dun eh parang walang nangyare! Ang saya!! :D

At sabi ko na nga ba, gaya ng dati, paborito talagang pagtripan pag natatalo siya eh, "i-hug mo si geneva dali!!" At yun na naman ang consequence niya. tsk tsk tsk..

Bago 'ko umuwi sa bahay, kinausap ko muna si Noel tungkol nga dun, kung anong sinabi nila kay Vanessa at hinabol ako. Sabi niya, ayun nga, yayakapin lang daw ako nun kasi nga natalo siya.. (nakakatakot naman kaya talaga siya!) Tapos, biglang sinabi ni Noel na, "dapat kaya ang ipapagawa namin sa kanya eh sabihin sayo na 'i want you to be my bestfriend' kaso sabi niya, 'papaasahin niya lang daw ako'...kaya hug na lang" 

Umuwi na ko.Kalagitnaan ng pagre-review ko... Naalala ko yung mga nangyari kanina. Nagde-daydream na nga ako. Naalala ko rin yung sinabi ni Noel sakin..."yayakapin lang daw ako nun kasi nga natalo siya..".... Meron pa eh. "....yayakapin lang daw ako nun kasi nga natalo siya.." hinde, meron pa talaga! ".....kaya ang ipapagawa namin sa kanya eh sabihin sayo na 'i want you to be my bestfriend'..." ayun!! ay mali!! yung kasunod pa niyan!! ".....'papaasahin niya lang daw ako'...kaya hug na lang..." konti pa.. "....'papaasahin niya lang daw ako..." -papaasahin niya lang daw ako!!!

Oo nga pala... Kasi kung sasabihin niya nga naman talaga yun eh, nangangahulugan nga na gusto niya PA RIN akong maging bespren. Hindi niya nga sinabi. At bukod pa dyan, sinabi niya rin na papaasahin niya lang ako.. Isa lang ang totoong kahulugan 'non. Hindi kami kailanman magiging mag-bespren at hindi ko rin siya pwedeng tawaging bespren dahil hindi naman talaga at hindi magiging bespren ang turing niya saken. Yun yooonnn!!

Pero, aaminin ko naman kasi, na 'pag may mga ganyang laro sila at may consequence, at sinusubukan nilang i-build up na maging mag-bespren nga kami eh, nakakatuwa at naaapreciate ko rin naman yun. At kahit pa kunyare eh kausap ni Venus si Vanessa pero sinabi na ni Venus na kakausapin niya yun, natutuwa rin naman ako kahit p'ano kasi alam kong may malalaman na naman ako tungkol sa SCB ko (so-called bespren). Tuwang-tuwa na nga 'ko nun. Tapos, pag kunyare, may sinabi na si Venus na something like "ayaw ka niyang maging bespren" eh, yung ngiti kong yun kanina, mananatiling ngiti at sasabihin.."ganun ba??" at diretso pagkalugmok agad.

Mahirap isipin na kanina lang eh tuwang -tuwa ako sa magiging sasabihin ni SCB pero nung nalaman ko na, eh biglang nag-iba ang ihip ng hangin.

Bigla kong naisip... ang linyang.. 

Like a shooting star to where you are...

You'll make it through you've gone too far... 

Will you ever be my star?..."

♪♪Will you ever be my star??♪♪

At ayun na nga, wala lang, eh sa ngayon ko lang nabasa eh. Pero ahmmm, di ko alam. Siguro may gulong ng palad talaga. Noon, ako siguro 'yung pakipot, 'yung hinahabol, 'yung sinusyo, Ngayon, ako na 'yung naghahangad ng konting lambing, kahit konting atensyon. Asan na 'yang "do you still want me, twenty years from now" mo?

Siguro ganito rin 'yung naranasan niya dati, sa dami ng katarantaduhang nagawa ko sa kanya. Siguro ganito rin siya dati, 'yung tipong aasa ba ako o hindi. Siguro nga ganoon talaga ang buhay kaya hindi dapat ako magreklamo at tanggapin ang katotohanan na hindi na kami bata at graduate na kami sa mga ka-ek-ek-ang ganyan. Pero sabihin ko man ito, wala lang, nakakamiss pa rin 'yung dati. Nakakamiss pa rin ;yung awayan at 'yung ka-cornihan tulad ng sabi ng iba. Nakakamiss na halos 'yun lang ang iniintindi mo sa buhay at 'yung ibang ka-achuchuhan mo. Di tulad ngayon na tungkol sa hinaharap, trabaho, karera--future mo na nakasalalay. 'Yung tipong, sino nga ba ako? Saan ba ako pupunta? Nakakamiss. Nakakamiss maging high school

Heto ako, inaalala ang nakalipas, imbis na gumagawa na ng psychological report na hindi ko naman maintindihan ang instruction *vague* HUHUHUHU. 4:54am na ngunit hapit na hapit na sa paggawa at pagsulat ng post na 'to imbis na sinusulat na ang mga dapat pa niyang sulatin. Pero, nakakamiss talaga eh, tulad nito:

Sulat niya (na hindi ko naman mabasa) XD

Nangka's Day XD

Before M.A.P.E.H. (3rd year high school)

Before M.A.P.E.H . I remember this~

The aftermath. (Super duper mega busy ng araw na 'yan  *sa pagkakatanda ko* at tinipon kaming lahat sa Science Lab for announcement or film viewing yata.)

Ito 'yung first ever makita nila akong nakatali ng buhok kaya hitik na hitik sila
pagpa-fangirl kuno. >.<

After class, diretso sa tindahan malapit sa school (o kung saan mang galaan) hihi. XD

And the precious moments captured by these pictures. Too bad, I already lost my copy because of Ondoy and  unfortunately, I can't find the soft copy of these. I just have to accept that these moments are now a part of my high school memory.

Pictures are stolen from grv's account. Yes, ganoon ako ka-hype mag-stalk (kung stalk mang matatawag 'yun). Some of the pictures made me cry and made wanna go back to the old me, to that time, but i know, it's impossible. It's really impossible and the only thing that I can do is to just stare at the photos and reminisce things. Remember all the happy (and even sad) things like this:

Selected students who were chosen to be part of cotillion 2008.
Find me XD

And yeah, I was browsing and browsing and browsing things until i got to a place where this poem is written:

What would it take, for me to know where I should be going?
Would the past be my guide, so as to repeat mistakes long gone?
Or should the future be my guide, so that hope would be my fire?
Were the choices made yesterday, be the reason of today?
Or would the prospects of the future, begin its reality in today?

Indeed, as Bilbo said, "the Road goes ever on".
Choices though, affect what would lie beyond.
And choices are not always correct, no one does not know that.
Yet to decide we are supposed to do, that's the fact.

Leah sang, "What a journey it has been, and the end is not in sight."
My God. She's damn right.
I'm still in the journey, the choices appear left and right.
So many that I no longer see, what's in front of my sight.

Should the past and the future be my means to gauge the present?
Or should the present be the means to gauge the past, and the future as well?
So many choices, so many things to consider.
Now I don't know where to start. My mind's breaking asunder.

Confused? Maybe. To some extent, yes.
We all want certainty, nothing less.
But the road's uncertain, as life is.
All you see, nothing was or will. Only is.

Wait, so where was I going?
Both for this blog and to my life that's still rolling?
Now, I'm confused. Indeed.
Bilbo, why don't you just tell me, a few of your deeds.

This was written by Kuya Nats, my Enrichment Kuya in ANI (Alay ni Ignacio) program. He was my mentor when I was a high school sophomore and he was a college student. After reading the poem now, it makes me remember how he was facing it and how did he teach us. I think that the pace of life he was in when he wrote this poem is now happening to me. And yes, I am confused too. I am confused in this life and where am I going? It makes me want to go back to the past and be bothered by simple things like relationships, friendships and the likes. Yessss, I miss my high school life even more.

"Walang kasing-gulo ngunit walang kasing-sayang section"
That's us. :))))

At para akong nagtransform ng bongga sa kalagitnaan ng post na 'to. 6:06am na at imbis na ginagawa ko na 'yang psych report echos na yan para sa 162, heto ako, nagsusulat pa rin sa blog na 'to. Nakalimutan ko na nga 'yung dinadrama ko kanina (which is about grv) at napalitan sa pagkamiss sa ANI class, at pagulay-bulay sa buhay. Haaaay, tumatanda na nga talaga ako. 

♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥