Maybe, this is the saddest birthday I will ever have. I am away from my family and friends whom I love and cherish. Everything is uncertain--I can only just hope for the best. Maybe, this decision is abrupt, but that doesn't mean it isn't right. I just don't know what will happen in my future and I hope that this leap of faith will make a big difference in my life.
Hope you'll become stronger, Banunay. Just please fight your inner demons. Throw your worries and fears.
I know you can make it so stop crying right now.
A big huuuuuuug for you to sustain the remaining time of being alone. >:)<
♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥
Monday, July 1, 2019
I hope I made you proud!
Hey, it's me! The one you pushed to become better.
I still remember the night when that dream was born. It was all thanks to you who encouraged me to push my luck and enrolled in graduate school. I still vividly recall, inside the four corners of McDonald's Bonifacio Global City, how we discussed ideas, how we got so excited over our big dreams; and how we shared our plans with each other as well as our worries and fears. You were not just my lover back then, but the greatest supporter and the best cheerleader of my life.
Here I am today. I already reached the goal you helped me started to build. Last Sunday, I graduated and received my Diploma I pursued, and now, I'm off to greater things--excited to take another adventure. Yes, I am still the same me you knew, aiming for noble ambitious things. But more importantly, I am still me who get things done even without you. Yes, I did it without you! You've made me stronger by breaking my heart, like what Mareng Regine sings. It is true that nothing can really define the pain I felt when you left me, but because of your abandonment, I discovered the lesson I wouldn't know today if that didn't happen: I can do it myself--with or without you.
Thank you for believing in me way back then. It was because of your trust in my ability that I trusted myself and tried to dream big. It was because of your love that I learned to love myself little by little. It was because of your words that pushed me to who I am today. It was because of the world you made me see that I want to succeed in life. It was because of you.
And today, I can finally say that it is not because of you but for the people who stayed with me during the crucial moments of my life--my family who never asked me what happened, the friends who were there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, and the people who never get tired to listen to my never-ending stories again and again. This Sablay is because of them, for they are the reason why I am still here, alive, and breathing.
Furthermore, this milestone is not at all for you anymore, but more importantly, for myself! Although you were the reason I started this, but you were also the reason why I didn't want this anymore. Yes, it is all because of myself that the dream I once had is now a reality. The credit is mine for being so strong to keep going when everything seems so dark and endless. It is because of my understanding with the need of thyself that allowed me to take a break and stopped being too hard in life. Thus, I really can attest to the effectiveness of the saying, "you don't need to quit, you just need to take a rest/ di mo naman kailangang sumuko, kailangan mo lang magpahinga". I took a pause, went LOA, got INC grade, cried when couldn't hold back my tears--but I didn't quit. I never quit. I thought of ending my life back then but halted myself from ending things. I tried everything to become okay when it really was not okay. Because I needed to force thyself to stop loving you anymore that I learned to love myself a little more.
Look where I am now. I can honestly say, thank you. I can finally say that I am really moving forward with my life--that I am so grateful that I met you and the chapter you once were was already been replaced by a new one.
Thank you for letting me go. This time, I want to see you again and proudly say, this achievement was then because of you, and yet, I did it without you. I hope I made you proud <3
(c) Gab Loste
And also, I will be forever grateful to my beautiful school, University of the Philippines Diliman. It was because of UP that I met you <3 Thanks for the memories I will treasure for the rest of my life :)
Padayon, Graduates of 2019!
♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥
I still remember the night when that dream was born. It was all thanks to you who encouraged me to push my luck and enrolled in graduate school. I still vividly recall, inside the four corners of McDonald's Bonifacio Global City, how we discussed ideas, how we got so excited over our big dreams; and how we shared our plans with each other as well as our worries and fears. You were not just my lover back then, but the greatest supporter and the best cheerleader of my life.
Here I am today. I already reached the goal you helped me started to build. Last Sunday, I graduated and received my Diploma I pursued, and now, I'm off to greater things--excited to take another adventure. Yes, I am still the same me you knew, aiming for noble ambitious things. But more importantly, I am still me who get things done even without you. Yes, I did it without you! You've made me stronger by breaking my heart, like what Mareng Regine sings. It is true that nothing can really define the pain I felt when you left me, but because of your abandonment, I discovered the lesson I wouldn't know today if that didn't happen: I can do it myself--with or without you.
Thank you for believing in me way back then. It was because of your trust in my ability that I trusted myself and tried to dream big. It was because of your love that I learned to love myself little by little. It was because of your words that pushed me to who I am today. It was because of the world you made me see that I want to succeed in life. It was because of you.
And today, I can finally say that it is not because of you but for the people who stayed with me during the crucial moments of my life--my family who never asked me what happened, the friends who were there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, and the people who never get tired to listen to my never-ending stories again and again. This Sablay is because of them, for they are the reason why I am still here, alive, and breathing.
Furthermore, this milestone is not at all for you anymore, but more importantly, for myself! Although you were the reason I started this, but you were also the reason why I didn't want this anymore. Yes, it is all because of myself that the dream I once had is now a reality. The credit is mine for being so strong to keep going when everything seems so dark and endless. It is because of my understanding with the need of thyself that allowed me to take a break and stopped being too hard in life. Thus, I really can attest to the effectiveness of the saying, "you don't need to quit, you just need to take a rest/ di mo naman kailangang sumuko, kailangan mo lang magpahinga". I took a pause, went LOA, got INC grade, cried when couldn't hold back my tears--but I didn't quit. I never quit. I thought of ending my life back then but halted myself from ending things. I tried everything to become okay when it really was not okay. Because I needed to force thyself to stop loving you anymore that I learned to love myself a little more.
Look where I am now. I can honestly say, thank you. I can finally say that I am really moving forward with my life--that I am so grateful that I met you and the chapter you once were was already been replaced by a new one.
Thank you for letting me go. This time, I want to see you again and proudly say, this achievement was then because of you, and yet, I did it without you. I hope I made you proud <3
(c) Gab Loste
And also, I will be forever grateful to my beautiful school, University of the Philippines Diliman. It was because of UP that I met you <3 Thanks for the memories I will treasure for the rest of my life :)
Padayon, Graduates of 2019!
♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥
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