I am turning twenty-seven this year... more so, these coming days. It feels like I am in the middle of the chaos again. I don't know what I am feeling right now. So, here I am scribbling words writing here to synthesize my thoughts and make sense of them. It has always been like this especially during my birthday. Seems like all the moments in my life are flashing back at me so suddenly making me ask myself, did I live my life to the fullest? Do I have so many regrets? What am I thankful for? Who was I way back then? Where am I now? What person did I become? Who do I want to become in the coming years? Thoughts are raging and I could not control them. Sometimes it makes me suffocated; sometimes it makes me drown.
Turning twenty-seven seems like time flies really fast. If only I could stop the world from spinning around and just let me live my life from the moment. Looking back when I was young, I wanted to grow up really fast, have work, earn my own money, live independently—now that I am in the moment that my younger self dreamt about, I just wanted to go back from the time when everything is so simple.
Turning twenty-seven—it feels nostalgic. I still clearly remember my seventh birthday when I had my cake blowing its candle. It was the second time having a cake on my day and I was so happy. Two decades later, here I am worried about who will be the people I will spend my special day with. On my 18th birthday, I didn't have a grand celebration for my debut which I hoped for the way back then. We were poor and my parents didn't bother to celebrate birthdays like the usual family. And so, I tried to save money and booked a resort for myself—invited my friends and celebrated with them. I was happy about their efforts and surprises but as usual, my parents didn't even greet me.
'Till the time that I can remember, I always treat birthdays as a special day in someone's life. So, I have this expectation that the people who value me will make their way out just to make me happy. But not everyone is like me who would pave their way out just to make someone's day special. Although I already accepted the fact that not everyone is as effort as me, the pressure still lingers in my very essence that I need to be happy on that special day. That said pressure makes me sad and anxious when my day is nearing. Hence, this feeling right now. But what should I do then? I want to be happy yet this is why I feel pressured and sad. I want this to be special but I am not that special so who am I to expect something I should not.
Twenty-seven years of experience seems like a joke—I feel young yet I also feel old. I could not even recognize my younger self if there was a chance to meet her now. I was so different from yesterday, and yet it feels that nothing changes.
Sentimental and melancholic as it may seem, writing this down somewhat help me calm my mind. I am no longer worried but excited about how life will take me. I wonder what surprises this life will give me when I turn twenty-seven. I am grateful for all the things I went through, for the mistakes that I have done, and for the milestone I achieve, and this coming year will not be different as it will also change me for the better... maybe not exactly as how I will thought I would be but as a growing individual susceptible of adapting, learning, and maturing.
So in this twenty-seventh year of my life, I have made a list of goals that I still want to achieve or have in the years to come. Some of the things have been repeated for who-knows-how-many-times from my old bucket list, nevertheless, I will retain and include them here for I still want these things to happen, added with new things I realize I want to have or do.
Turning twenty-seven seems like time flies really fast. If only I could stop the world from spinning around and just let me live my life from the moment. Looking back when I was young, I wanted to grow up really fast, have work, earn my own money, live independently—now that I am in the moment that my younger self dreamt about, I just wanted to go back from the time when everything is so simple.
Turning twenty-seven—it feels nostalgic. I still clearly remember my seventh birthday when I had my cake blowing its candle. It was the second time having a cake on my day and I was so happy. Two decades later, here I am worried about who will be the people I will spend my special day with. On my 18th birthday, I didn't have a grand celebration for my debut which I hoped for the way back then. We were poor and my parents didn't bother to celebrate birthdays like the usual family. And so, I tried to save money and booked a resort for myself—invited my friends and celebrated with them. I was happy about their efforts and surprises but as usual, my parents didn't even greet me.
'Till the time that I can remember, I always treat birthdays as a special day in someone's life. So, I have this expectation that the people who value me will make their way out just to make me happy. But not everyone is like me who would pave their way out just to make someone's day special. Although I already accepted the fact that not everyone is as effort as me, the pressure still lingers in my very essence that I need to be happy on that special day. That said pressure makes me sad and anxious when my day is nearing. Hence, this feeling right now. But what should I do then? I want to be happy yet this is why I feel pressured and sad. I want this to be special but I am not that special so who am I to expect something I should not.
Twenty-seven years of experience seems like a joke—I feel young yet I also feel old. I could not even recognize my younger self if there was a chance to meet her now. I was so different from yesterday, and yet it feels that nothing changes.
Sentimental and melancholic as it may seem, writing this down somewhat help me calm my mind. I am no longer worried but excited about how life will take me. I wonder what surprises this life will give me when I turn twenty-seven. I am grateful for all the things I went through, for the mistakes that I have done, and for the milestone I achieve, and this coming year will not be different as it will also change me for the better... maybe not exactly as how I will thought I would be but as a growing individual susceptible of adapting, learning, and maturing.
So in this twenty-seventh year of my life, I have made a list of goals that I still want to achieve or have in the years to come. Some of the things have been repeated for who-knows-how-many-times from my old bucket list, nevertheless, I will retain and include them here for I still want these things to happen, added with new things I realize I want to have or do.
☐ Get a boyfriend who I can travel the world with (am with somebody now but can't travel huhu)
☐ Get engaged
☐ Get married to the man I love
☐ Own a gaming laptop/ high-specs computer for my side hustle designing
☐ Become a freelance graphic designer/ content creator
☐ Create my own podcast
☑ Own a ring light for my content haha!
☐ Buy a high-spec DSLR and pursue being a professional photographer
☐ Make my own portfolio
☑ Establish the first branch of Memento Cafe
☐ Fully-furnished my Marikina House
☐ Decorate my Marikina bedroom
☐ Buy my own house aside from the house in Marikina
☐ Register in OWWA, and pay the SSS and PAG-IBIG contributions
☐ Get an international health insurance
☐ Get a life insurance
☐ Establish my own business
☐ Give birth to my own precious child/ren
☐ Have my first visit to the Philippines
☑ Become a bridesmaid
☐ Organize my own wedding
☐ Have a Masteral Degree
☐ Have a double degree in Industrial Engineering
☐ Save money 1 Million
☐ Travel to Iceland
☐ Travel to Norway
☐ Travel Georgia
☐ Travel to Armenia
☐ Travel to Switzerland
☐ Travel to Turkey
☐ Travel to Germany
☐ Travel to Japan
☐ Travel to Australia
☐ Travel to Poland
☐ Become a Yoga Instructor
☐ Become a teacher
☐ Record my own song
☐ Finish reading the 7 Habit of Highly Effective People
☐ Finish reading the Rich Dad Poor Dad
☐ Finish reading the Atomic Habits
☐ Finish the Happiness Project
☐ Finish the 2021 Bullet Journal
☐ Buy photo printer/ portable printer
☐ Finish paying the loan of my brother
☐ Create a masterpiece using paint and hang it on the wall
☐ Apply for a Canadian Visa
☑ Participate in Spartan Race
☐ Run 30km
☐ Join ADNOC Marathon
