Kind of thinking about what to buy for you but I ended up buying this. A gift suited for us for this is what we also lack–time. :) Also, it was hard for me to pick this for I told myself before never to exert effort on someone who I am not sure of... but maybe, this is just me, doing things I like to lessen regrets in life.
Looking back, I never really regret all the things I have done even if these eventually hurt me in the end. On the other hand, those things I did not do, haunt me up to now. This is why I don't want to repeat the same mistake twice. I don't know if you remember but this is our first conversation online when I invited you to a surprise birthday of her. That in everything you do, always consider if the decision you will choose will make you happy or haunt you with regret forever. Having said that, I will just let myself go with the flow and just be honest with what I am feeling right now. Especially since what I have is only now and we both know that the future is uncertain we could not even comprehend.
Thank you! I don't know exactly when did you notice me or if you are really serious about appreciating me but on my side, I know for a fact that I noticed you just this recently. Surely, I don't love you yet, but what I can honestly say right now is that I feel comfortable with you in the brief moment we were together. Felt a bit awkward sometimes since I want to digest my feelings as well and want to take things slowly. But I want to commend you for being brave in life. I like you for being responsible with your life and how you never give up easily despite all the challenges you have gone through. How I wish I was there with you during those dark days of your life to support you as well and to cheer you up. It was a sweet victory to utter congratulatory words to someone who you are with during their lowest of lows. Too bad, I wasn't there, but know that I am proud of you too. I also felt your genuineness and kindness during the wedding of Kuya Troy & Ate Angel. Your words, and vulnerability especially when you cried while giving your speech that day made my heart soften for you. I like people who are genuine. And I think you have a beautiful soul.
If I found out earlier that we have a thing, maybe it will not really work out as well provided that you have a history with my friend and I am a person who doesn't want conflict and mess. I would feel guilty knowing what happened to both of you and how I witnessed her cry for you. But don't take me wrong, I understand you both sides, her being who the person she is, and you who explained to me finally your side.
Moreover, I intentionally don't want to get involved between you two and set boundaries not to get close to you. But because I lived here in a place you consider home, I started to know you more indirectly. I started to notice your aggressiveness and short-temperedness but still fun-loving who really cares for your loved ones. Even though we are not really talking, it feels like I have known you since then for all our housemates are telling stories about you. Up until now, I really cannot read and comprehend you--but somewhat, it is easier to trust you knowing that a lot of people love you and trust you all those years. Seeing you and your friends take care of each other make me miss the constants I left behind in the Philippines.
Anyway, I am writing you this letter to tell you that whatever happens in the future, I hope I become a good memory to you. Even though our chapter here in UAE is so short, please know that what I told you and what I let you feel is all true. I don't want pretentiousness and I am a person who you can easily read of. I will also tell you in front if I don't like it or not. But a little bit of maybes and in-betweens won't hurt us sometimes--like the reason why I got transferred to your flat which is one of the best decisions I had here in UAE. Because of that unwillingness to transfer location, I met all of you here and found a home away from home. <3
Furthermore, I really wish you good luck in your future endeavor. Also, please know that I don't actually want to tell anything between us to other people because I don't really know what will happen in the future. I don't want you to have any restrictions shall you meet someone there and you are conscious with our housemates because maybe I will know. Or you would tell them not to tell me because maybe they will think I will be sad. If we are the only two who know what is happening between us, at least mas mabilis yung moving on process. Like if you found someone there, then no one will ask me if I am okay and that I can just cry with myself alone hahaha. Basta, I don't want you to be restricted because of me. I will be happy if you will be happy there even if it is not me who's making you happy. :) I really know the feeling of coming to an unknown place where you really don't know anything and anyone. It was like a brand new canvass waiting for you to draw and fill colors. I will be happy to be your good friend anyway. And besides, we really don't have a lot of foundations, to begin with. But know that you deserve someone as good as you and don't settle for anything less just because you are lonely (especially if it is cheating or 3rd party or kabit ah! Please, don't!!!) You deserve to be happy and I am praying for you to find happiness in everything that you do. And I hope you pray for my happiness as well even though I know for a fact that it will really take time for me to get to know someone since I really am that full of trust issues haha! Promise me to let me know shall you meet someone nice there. I would be sad so but I will still root for your happiness nonetheless.
We may never know what the future holds. I don't even know what I am doing with my life but know that once in your life, you have met here :) I will also feel sad if we part ways permanently especially if I decided to move out of the house and left Tito for we will never really have any form of connections along with your Maubanian tropapips na bully! But still, I am happy to have met you all here since 2020. I always tell that to them, and I want you to know that as well since I don't think I had a chance to tell you that.
Keep in touch! I know you have so many friends closer than me but if you do feel homesick there, you can still beep me up. Good luck on your new journey! We are proud of you :)
PS. Hope you like the watch, I personally choose the rubber strap so you can use it during your duty since pwedeng mabasa hihi unlike the metal and leather. Maybe you have an existing watch na but this is what fits for you... for us, time difference and the time constraints we never really have. God bless you always <3
♥ ☺ ♥ And that what life brings. ♥ ☺ ♥
