If i die today, I wouldn't mind
All those sleepless nights, I cried
I couldn't sleep, there's no peace
Oh how I wish it is the end of my restless night
Chaotic mind seem like so active up to now
Blaming myself for everything
For all the things I have done
And for the things I didn't do.
Many times, i tried to bargain
To the people, to me
But maybe, when all the things are done
And the time already passed
You are just there stuck into your world
Criticizing yourself
Hurting yourself
Nothing to do
Cannot move
Feeling your regrets while they hunt you back
I don't know what to do
This pain is excruciating
It makes me sick
It makes me gone mad
But what should I do?
What do I need to do?
I am tired.
I am tired of life
I don't want to feel the pain.
Anyone, just kill me now
I just want to die now.
I hope I can just sleep
It is past midnight
And I couldn't force myself to even blink
Even when I close my eyes
The pain is bleeding all over my body
I can feel it like a needle and knife smashing at me
Oh how i wish i could stop this pain.
I hate myself.
It is so hard to be strong
Because no one will notice you being weak
You don't have any choice but to stand for yourself
Because no one will ever will
So please be strong
Even if you want to die
Even if it is really painful
Even if how many sleepless nights you may encounter
I just wish this pain can just go easily
I just wish i can just forgive myself
Let go of the pain
Be kind to yourself
Just please hold on...
But until when?
I am so tired.
I don't want this anymore.
